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If You Think It's About the Food You Missed the Main Meal

What you will read on the blog pages will give you some insight into the motivation that drove me to write a book, "The Main Meal: The New Perspective on Weight Loss."  Writing the book inspired me to write more, and so I started blogging in June of 2013.  Looking back I found that most of my blogs fall into three main topics: Being Present, Loving Yourself, and Renewal, and that's what the Main Meal is all about.  It's about being present to what is most important in my life, renewing my sense of self-worth and confidence in every moment, and loving myself just as I am.

PLease join me at the table as I find new and delicious items on the menu of living in joy and self-confidence.  I invite you to explore this website, sign up for the newsletter, read the blogs, buy the book, and contact me with your stories and feedback.  Together we make progress and together we find our way to joy.

An Excerpt from "The Main Meal: The New Perspective on Weight Loss"

The concept for this book came along with the title.  I have known for over 20 years, on one level or another, that I would write this book.  At different times over those 20 years, I have had different layers of understanding of what the title really means.  First, I knew intellectually it was not about the food, but about emotion, self-esteem, self-image, and yet I still concentrated on eating the 'right' food and making healthy choices.  I even wrote about those choices of food, thinking they would be included in the book.  Later, I began to understand that food choices may be a good topic for discussion, but not for this book.  The emphasis really is on how I live my life, how I interact with others, how I choose to live each day and what attitude I bring to my world.  This book is about finding the truth of who I really am.

            Most recently, I have had a deeper insight into the title.  I was thinking about how the conventional diet gurus tell us we will always have to weigh and measure our food in order to maintain our weight.  How unacceptable it was to me to have that be a life sentence!  And how absurd that I would give 80 percent of my waking hours to the focus on food!  I had to ask myself, isn't that how I got to this size in the first place?  Didn't I focus on food instead of on my own emotions?  Didn't I choose to anesthetize all of the discomfort and awkwardness of living by eating about it? 

            I missed the main course while I was so focused on food!  I missed out on the love and growth and maturing that comes with honest interaction with those around me.  I avoided situations where I didn’t feel completely confident, and thus, I am sure, missed out on knowing some wonderful people.  I missed knowing that nearly everyone around me was just as unsure and insecure as I was.  I missed seeing that some of the things I said and did were harsh and judgmental.  I missed the daily give and take, ebb and flow, highs and lows of being aware and appreciative of every moment.  I missed a lot of my life. 

            As I live and breathe today, it's not about the food.  It's not about what I eat, how much I eat, when I eat or whether I eat.  It's not about how much I weigh, what size clothes I wear, how I look in the mirror or how I look to someone else.  It’s not about someone else's opinion of me, expressed through words or disapproving glares.  It’s not about anyone else's perception of how my body size reflects on them as a parent, sibling, spouse, friend, mentor, doctor, nutritionist or spiritual adviser.  It's about me being happy.  It's about me feeling good about myself.  It's about me smiling, laughing and loving.

            So I have sentenced myself to life!  I choose to accept my life, in every icky, messy, lovely, glorious, happy, sad, frustrated, content moment.  In every 'now'.  I choose to feel each now.  I choose to live each now.  I choose to be fully aware and present every now of my life.   I am feasting at the main meal of life.  And even if I still sample the side dishes of my life, I know how to find my way back to the main course.



 
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Let Me Tell You About Betty

Betty Brink has lived her life in many different stages, wearing many different hats. She attended 3 separate colleges, and was eventually awarded an MBA on her 40th birthday. She has lived in four different states and, in her own words, has "worked every job in the history of man, except the oldest profession." She loves reading, writing, making soap, making lotion, cooking, playing music and singing. Currently, she's living the dream, feasting on each and every now moment in southern California.
 
 

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Betty Brink

Betty is living the dream, feasting on each and every 'now' moment in Southern California.

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Latest Posts

  • TwoFamiliesSayingGrace

     

    When I was visiting my parents in their last years of life, one of the caretakers was sitting down to share a meal with us.  My Dad asked her to say grace before we ate.  She asked for blessings on the food and “all the hands that toiled to bring these foods to the table.”  Wow!  That sent my mind back down the food chain to the grocery store employees, the truckers who brought the food to the store, the farmers who planted the seeds and the workers who harvested it.  Today I include everything on the table, the flatware, the dishes, the cups the napkins.  When I think of everyone who toiled to make the meal and the setting in front of me possible, it takes gratitude to an entirely different level.  I am humbled by the tremendous effort of so many people that I might eat just one meal.  And then multiply that by the number of meals of my life. 

    I feel a deep and abiding gratitude for this, but also, I have a sense that I want to honor all of that work and all of those people.  As I wonder how to honor them it occurs to me that there are several ways.    grace prayer before meals

    I can choose what to eat thoughtfully, and I can stay present to the gift of the meal as I eat it.  Before I ever go to the store, I can do some research to find out what products and companies treat the land respectfully, pay their workers honest wages, raise food animals humanely, and have an ethic of giving back from their own abundance. 

    I can go to the store with a plan for what I will cook and eat in order to minimize waste and spoilage.  I can honor my body by choosing the foods that nourish and energize me in order to minimize any drain on my energy.  I can treat the employees of the store with respect, being patient with the teenager who is still learning to be a cashier. 

    And when I sit down to eat that meal, after preparing the food I’ve purchased, I can allow enough time to eat it slowly, enjoying the full flavor of every bite, and feeling the satisfaction of filling an empty stomach.

    Saying grace is more than a sentence or two before devouring a meal in a matter of a few short minutes.  Bringing grace to every choice associated with the effort to bring that meal to the table becomes a life practice.  Gratitude enhances the dining experience, seasons the taste buds, and becomes one more ingredient in the Main Meal of my life.

    HopeWeDontGetCaught

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    JustAnotherDay

    A few weeks ago, I had a thought that maybe I ‘should’ write a blog during the holiday season or for the new year.  But that’s not how this works for me.  I can’t somehow decide it’s a good time to write a blog and then turn out something appropriate to the season or the weather or whatever.  Usually, a phrase comes to mind and that sets the ideas in motion and all of a sudden, I am writing non-stop until the idea that inspired the phrase is fully developed and, like magic, a blog is written.

    Today I was thinking back to the ‘should’ thought, wondering if there is something in new beginnings that I have anything to write; something that hasn’t already been said a million times in a million different ways.  What’s true and authentic for me is that Christmas Day (I was raised Christian) and New Year’s Day are each just one more day of my life.  It’s not that I don’t feel the excitement; it’s not that I don’t have a deep sense of the sacred associated with this time of year.  It’s that the excitement and the holiness of those two days is no more and no less intense than any other day of the year for me.

    Some part of every day of my life is spent engaged in my personal spiritual practice.  There is never a time when I can’t find a reason for awe and gratitude.  When I get in my car to drive the 8 miles from my house to beach, I’m every bit as excited to get there as I was to wake up, at age 5, on Christmas Day and see the presents under the tree.  Standing in the surf is a sacred experience for me and I do it often.WalkAtTheBeach

    As to new beginnings, why wait?  I can start anything new at any time I choose.  I can start the same things over and over and over again, as many times as I choose, until I reach a goal, learn a skill, find the joy I’m looking for.  Resolutions begin with a thought and I have millions of thoughts a day.  I choose which ones to act on and which changes, or new beginnings, I want to give my energy to.

    And if we are talking about the season, well that happens at least 4 times a year, all year long, even in a place like San Diego. The days lengthen and shorten, different plants bloom and die during the year; trees get fuller and then shed some or all of their leaves.  So, celebrating the shortest day of the year and the return of the light is equally as exciting and sacred as celebrating the equinoxes or the longest day of the year and the move toward longer nights. 

    It’s not cynicism that makes me say Christmas Day and New Year’s Day are each just another day.  They are each another glorious, awe-inspiring, joy-filled, day of new beginnings and reasons to be grateful.  Do I celebrate them? I feast on them, and on every other day of my life!  They are one more item on the Main Meal menu.

     

     

     


  • Gratitude

    Many years ago, my Dad told us about a book he read where the author said he was inspired to give thanks for everything, especially the ‘bad’ or challenging things in his life.  So, my Dad tried this out one day when he was driving down the main commercial street in his neighborhood.  This street had a traffic light at nearly every block and, as was usually the case, he was hitting every red light.  He started saying, “thank you for the red light, thank you for the red light, thank you for the red light,” at every corner.  Pretty soon, instead of being frustrated and angry, he was laughing!

    I had known for several days that this would be the concept for the topic I was writing for The Main Meal Weight Management Group, but I couldn’t get started with my writing.  The morning of the meeting, at 8:00 am I woke to the sound of heavy equipment on the school yard next to my window, scraping and pounding.  My first reaction was not to give thanks!  But right on the heals of my frustration and annoyance, was the thought, “thank you for the loud, intrusive noise this morning.”  And I laughed at myself.

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